What made "The Tonight Show" great was Johnny Carson, and one of the many things that made Carson great was his ability to talk in sound bites; quotable one-liners. In fact, after watching the Johnny Carson box set, you could almost break up the entire transcript of each show into a list of great one-liners. This is a collection of Classic Television Blog's Top 10 Carson quotes:
1 "Democracy means that anyone can grow up to be president, and anyone who doesn't grow up can be vice president."
2 "For three days after death, hair and fingernails continue to grow but phone calls taper off."
3 "I know a man who gave up smoking, drinking, sex and rich food. He was healthy right up to the day he killed himself."
4 "I was so naive as a kid I used to sneak behind the barn and do nothing."
5 "If it weren't for Philo T. Farnsworth, inventor of the television, we'd still be eating frozen radio dinners."
6 "Married men live longer than single men. But married men are a lot more willing to die."
7 "If variety is the spice of life, marriage is the big can of leftover Spam."
8 "If life was fair, Elvis would be alive and all the impersonators would be dead."
9 "Never use a big word when a little filthy one will do."
10 "Happiness is your dentist telling you it won't hurt and then having him catch his hand in the drill."
You can view a longer list of quotes from "The Tonight Show starring Johnny Carson" at BrainyQuote.com.